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This is a story of abuse of power over the homeless.
I’m Jay. My family and I were “guests” at the St. Anthony’s Homeless Shelter, which is a part of St. Vincent DePaul society (Catholic Charity) of 2424 N. Pacific Hwy., Medford Oregon.
The people involved are:
Kathy Morgan: I understand her to be the “president” of the St. Anthony’s homeless shelter conference, and thus president of the homeless shelter. (Here, she is pictured with Nick.)
Nick: Nick is the manager (Warden) of the St. Anthony’s homeless shelter. His last name (a Greek last name) was always ran by me so quickly that I couldn’t catch it.
Al Zon: Al used to be the president, and is now the vice president of the St. Anthony’s homeless shelter.
Dennis Mihocko: Dennis is the president of the society of St. Vincent DePaul in Medford Oregon. The St. Anthony’s homeless shelter is located on St. Vincent DePaul property at 2424 N. Pacific Highway, Medford Oregon.
The things stated hereon are from my opinion and personal observation only. What I am presenting is merely for education, information, and a journaling of our experience at St. Anthony’s homeless shelter. St. Anthony’s homeless shelter is a bureaucratic nightmare. I’ve closely examined bureaucracy for years, and I can tell you that the St. Anthony’s homeless shelter explicitly appears to be an uncontrolled experiment in abusing homeless people’s lives, minds, and self-value.
Our overall experience with St. Vincent DePaul has been absolutely amazing, but this homeless shelter is the opposite of anything related with compassion.
It is my understanding that different parts of the Catholic layout are ran by what are called “conferences”. The conference that we initially connected with, and still remain connected with, has treated us as if we are equals, and in a loving, respectful manner. We’ve made many positive steps forward because of the initial conference at St. Vincent DePaul that we connected with. We made a couple of dear friends there, whom we will love forever.
The conference for the St. Anthony’s homeless shelter, however is a small clique of people who are without any oversight, and they are free to stomp on the dignity of others in disrespect, and expect (and even demand) thanks for such treatment.
The conferences at issue are a part of the Rogue Valley Council. According to competent testimony, I’ve heard that Nick has already threatened a libel suit, should I let out this information online. So be it. Sometimes a bully finds that someone has the will to stand up to them and expose the Emperor’s nakedness. I’ve been that guy more than once, so this is not a new experience for me to expose this type of material. And sometimes a bully doesn’t quit threatening, even after he should know better. I’m happy to see this through to whatever end is necessary for change to occur at St. Anthony’s homeless shelter, and that can only come if those who have been victim to abuses at their hand come forward. This is just such an invitation.
As someone who was homeless, and a guest at St. Anthony’s homeless shelter, here’s what we experienced, from start to finish:
1. You are less than, devalued, and unimportant, and you will be treated as such. You’re homeless, and your very existence here is a bother and an annoyance upon the controllers. Scorn and contempt of the residents are on the menu EVERY DAY in the homeless shelter of the St. Anthony’s Conference. Homeless people NEED value realized to move on and become successful. St Anthony’s homeless shelter is the antithesis of ANY model of instilling value in people.
2. Don’t you DARE question the rules or challenge anyone in charge. Their ego will not and does not handle it well, and you will surely be threatened with either disciplinary action or eviction. If you go outside of the St. Anthony’s conference, this is an almost unpardonable offense, because it embarrasses and reveals the incompetence of the St. Anthony’s conference’s glaring lack of ability in handling even the most basic level of common human interaction and conflict, and you will be treated with amplified aggressiveness, and in a threatening manner. (For the purposes of this writing, continually threatening someone with eviction is a threat equal to bodily harm, because shelter is one of the basic human needs for survival. Thrusting one’s finger in another’s face is also a violent act, and an act of aggression and force escalation. This was an repeated pattern we experienced at St. Anthony’s homeless shelter.)
3. This homeless shelter is a business, and it is merely in existence as a showpiece, a fundraiser, and prideful claim of the society of St Vincent DePaul. What goes on behind the scenes is a rampant abuse of personal dignity and respect. What lies under the jeweled crown of St. Anthony’s homeless shelter is a cesspool of abuse of power.
4. The leadership here will take extra measures to ensure that you are constantly de-affirmed, and made to feel valueless. Fear is repeatedly invoked – fear of punishment, or fear of eviction.
5. If need be, violence is in order and will be used repeatedly to make sure you are “conformed.”
Allow me to provide the story.
We found ourselves in a bit of a jam earlier this year, and we didn’t have a set plan, nor were we fixated on where we wanted to end up. We were pointed to a couple of dear, sweet ladies who interviewed us, did background on us, and then helped us. Over the months, we stayed in contact with them, and they are surely shining examples of what the society of St. Vincent DePaul should be seen as.
Recently, my family and I were in California, and the van that we had enjoyed for transportation broke completely down and was towed away as salvage. So, we were without transportation, and we are a family of seven.
So, we called our dear friends at the St. Vincent DePaul conference in Medford, and plans were made to get us back to Oregon, and allow me to find a job, become stabilized, and find housing of the more permanent nature.
St. Vincent DePaul society put us up for a few days in a Best Western, and we were hoping to find housing within that week. Before the week’s end, however, we received a call on a Thursday from the St. Anthony’s homeless shelter, specifically Kathy Morgan. My wife answered the phone and proceeded to be questioned in a demeaning and aggressive manner by Ms. Morgan. My wife heard Kathy Morgan say “Why aren’t you here? You were supposed to be here and be processed into the shelter today!”
My wife is as gentle as a kitten, yet knows when she’s being talked to in a demeaning manner. She exited that phone call saying “I never want to speak to or hear from that woman again! No one deserves to be addressed in that manner.”
I made a call to our St. Vincent DePaul friends, expressed my displeasure and refusal of shaming (demeaning communication) by Kathy Morgan, and I found out that (Dennis – at ) St. Vincent DePaul had actually made arrangements to transfer us to the homeless shelter instead of the Best Western. They had just failed to relay that detail to us in communication, so we didn’t know.
Knowing we needed a place to stay, we worked through this, and entered the homeless shelter. We were both first-timers on being in a homeless shelter, and this was a traumatic event, only because society (status quo) says that entering a homeless shelter is one of the lowest rungs on the ladder of life.
Because Kathy Morgan had presumedly been given communication about our concern with her earlier phone call, we were treated with kid gloves during the entry process. I’m sure it didn’t hurt any that our friendly set of St. Vincent DePaul friends were there with us during the processing.
The first day we were processed in, they let us stay inside the shelter. The rules are everyone must leave the homeless shelter daily from 10am to 4PM.
I left to walk to the store for food for the family and upon my return, I was met by Nick, the manager, who was visibly angry. I heard him say “I didn’t get any sleep today. Your kids were beating on my door.” Of course this direct claim without any discussion or investigation of my perspective took me off guard, and I immediately felt like a three year old who was being scolded.
My experience is that a reasonable adults discuss and work through an issue, rather than jumping to immediate attack mode. Throughout our stay at St. Anthony’s homeless shelter, I saw Nick and Kathy Morgan act as if every thing that was perceived by them as a breach was something that we had done intentionally and with malice. Nothing could be further from the truth, we were just new at the homeless shelter protocol, and had a learning curve.
When I questioned my wife (in a much more loving manner, I assure you) I found out that the children were going bananas in the room, so they wanted to go out to play. She allowed that, and when the door to the outside of the St. Anthony’s homeless shelter closed, Nick evidently thought it was someone banging on his door. (Nick sleeps from 1-4, and evidently one door closing disturbed his entire three hour nap.)
(I’ve never heard Nick’s last name pronounced slowly enough to clearly comprehend the spelling of his last name, so hereon, he I just refer to him as “Nick.”)
The next morning, we worked hard on the room, because we knew that an inspection of the room was standard. Understand, we have never had to pass a room inspection to determine our value as a guest, so this was a new thing.
Nick walked out the door of the shelter after we did that first morning. My wife and I were talking to a couple of other shelter residents, and Nick comes up and interrupts us and says: “Your room is a mess. I’m going to have to write you up. Kathy is not going to be happy about this.”
BAM. There, in rapid succession, Nick employed four shaming/disrespect techniques:
1. Interruption (What I have to say is more important than the conversation you are currently engaged in).
2. Presentation before peers. Why Nick wouldn’t have covered such a thing in private, rather than in front of the parties we were in communication with, shows either a lack of understanding on Nick’s part, or an intentional purpost to shame us in front of peers. Either way, this is STANDARD operating procedure on the part of Nick. We saw him constantly shaming other residents in group settings also. Some of these were women who had already been through horrific emotional and physical abuse at the hands of a man, and to have it revisited in this homeless shelter, where they should find refuge was, unfortunately, Nick’s Standard Operating Procedure. If someone messed up, they were given extra duty, and treated with contempt. What I and my wife saw in Nick appeared to be an ego trip of a sadist from hell, to put it bluntly. What we saw in Kathy was equally disturbing.
3. Engaging in initial conflict resolution by immediately proceeding to the most extreme form of punishment. Surely any reasonable adult would think that a warning on a first offense would be proper. This is even more reasonable considering that this was our first time ever in a homeless shelter. But no…. Nick was going to “write us up.” Hammer time…
Honestly, this is the point where my “fuck you” kicked in. Not only did I grow up with alcoholic parents, I worked with abused children in a church camp for three years in summer camp. The training for this camp taught us that the behaviors that Nick and Kathy display in addressing issues are nothing short of abuse and an authority trip that has gone very badly. Someone with this severe of an authority trip is absent the ability to reason, and we saw Nick (And indeed Kathy Morgan as well) repeatedly act in mechanical, methodical disregard for compassion, and with bloodlust for making new rules and controls of those who dared reside in the St. Anthony’s homeless shelter. We observed that the hierarchy at St. Anthony’s homeless shelter, and the conference thereof, is as calloused to human compassion as Adolph Hitler. No less of an indictment can be factual, from my vantage point.
4. “Kathy is not going to be happy about this.” Well bless her heart… My experience has taught me that bullying thrives when fear is a part of the control mechanisms. Be it Kathy Morgan or some other external force – someone is going to be angry and it works best if you, the resident, are afraid that there is “hell to pay.” Again, my “fuck you” response kicked in at this point to an even greater degree, and I felt compelled to branch out on this to involve other people. It’s the same as the reported statement Nick made concerning my release of this story, that “It’s our word against his.” Well, if the other people who have received this type of treatment see this, and come forward, THEN, it becomes problematic, and that’s what I’m hoping occurs. See, if abuse happens, and it’s “Our word against theirs,” THAT is problematic. Isn’t it time to end such a program without oversight? Or, is it okay to leave the bullies alone and allow the abuse to continue?
See this video to see that the beds they want made impeccably are actually dangerous and defective beds, and I heard Nick acknowledge the duct taped beds to me, alleging that he had some part ordered, but during the almost two weeks that we were there, the duct tape shown on this video was unchanged, and because our children needed a place to stay, and the homeless shelter would have ultimately been liable, had an injury occurred, we had no choice but to let them assume that liability, because saying something about a problem with the St. Anthony’s homeless shelter was perceived by us as an immediate ticket to eviction.
So it’s okay for the safety of children to be compromised, but let a bed be made the wrong way, and “Kathy’s not going to be happy…”
So, I called my friends at the St. Vincent DePaul conference. I relayed what had happened. (I’m omitting purposefully the names of my friends at St. Vincent DePaul, because they have been totally supportive, loving, and a great help, and their hands are seemingly tied when it comes to this fiasco, because no one with the power to change it actually cares.)
I spoke to the President of St. Vincent DePaul, Dennis Mihocko, and I relayed the facts from my perspective. I asked for help. I heard him say he would make a few calls and try to get this cleared up.
What happened next was terrorism by any standard.
Within the hour, I observed Kathy Morgan knocking on our door, and thrusting her finger in my face angrily and aggressively saying “I want to talk to you NOW!” (It would be easy to see this on the internal shelter CCTV video recordings. It’s all on there, or that portion of the video will be “missing.” Her body language was unmistakable.)
We proceeded to her office, where Kathy and Nick closed the door behind us. I heard them demand: “Dennis said you told him we were rude to you! How were we rude to you?!?!” It is my feeling that if Dennis were concerned at all about my well being, he would have been at the meeting. I requested that Dennis meet with us, but evidently Dennis has a hands-off approach with the St. Anthony’s homeless shelter operations. He IS, however, supposedly the president of the society of St. Vincent DePaul.
When the issue of the bed making in the room came up, I was just amazed that Nick had actually taken pictures of things he deemed as in disarray, as if there was a crime scene involved. I heard him say “I’m just doing my job.” There are many abuses covered by such a statement. It would be laughable if it weren’t such an insult to intelligent communication and peaceful conflict resolution. I heard Kathy say “Nick felt like the way you left your room was a slap in the face.” Alleging assault from something like an unmade bed shows the normal way of over-reaction that was observed as standard fare for St. Anthony’s homeless shelter management. Looking back on the combination of things said and things done, I see now that violent aggression (alleging a slap in the face, thrusting fingers in someone’s face, speaking angrily/talking down to another) is the common tool of dealing with any perceived issue of divergence at St. Anthony’s homeless shelter.
This barrage of aggression continued for about 15 minutes, and I exited the room in an agitated state. Honestly, I felt threatened. Instead of choosing fight, I chose flight. Their body language (Crossed arms), Kathy and Nick leaning into me and my personal space (within three feet of my face by Kathy) and demanding that my alleged claim be backed up was not a pleasant, nor professional scene. I had two choices – fight, or flight, and I was able to do either of them – more than proficiently. I thankfully chose flight.
When I asked in return: “Can you explain to me how there is any compassion involved in you thrusting your finger in my face and saying I want to talk to you NOW”? Nick jeered at me by saying “That’s a real good program you’re running there.” (Nick’s actions clearly displayed: “How dare you question me – I’m the manager here, and you’re nothing, you homeless fool!”)
And all of this without any kind of oversight or third party becoming involved. The call from Dennis Mihocko to Kathy Morgan surely had to be a mere “Handle your own shit – I’m not a part of this.” call.
It’s disgusting that those who purport to do charitable deeds can be empowered in such an absolute position of being empowered to act in a brutal, inhuman, ruthless and barbarous way without having to answer to anyone.
When I left the room, I called my friends at St. Vincent DePaul, letting them know that I would need to go to a motel because I felt threatened by this chain of events. Then I called Dennis and left him a message stating the same thing. The tone of my voice on these calls reflected that it took all of my energy to not react to their violence with violence. When I returned to the office, I asked Kathy and Nick what kinds of transportation were available at that time of the night, and relayed that I just needed to go to a motel with my family. I heard them tell me I didn’t have to leave, and try to smooth it over.
There was a moment in this portion of time that I connected deeply with Kathy. I have a heart of compassion, and I saw her point of pain. I heard her say “You don’t hold the patent on pain. My daughter was murdered.” Then I walked with her as she took me to a place outside of one of the rooms where a plaque was hanging in her daughter’s honor.
I saw this, and I sent blessings to Kathy. Sincerely, warmly, and eye to eye. I felt like we both knew it. And that was one moment in time.
We agreed to wipe the slate clean, and just go forward. I suppose it would have looked extremely bad for us to have been put out on the street after dark when we had just documented (by the phone calls) taking steps to try to work this mess out.
I truly wanted to act in love and compassion. I know that love is the only thing that heals.
Am I angry about the events at the homeless shelter? Yes. I am. Am I surprised? Yes I am. It is confusing to see two different factions of the same society of St. Vincent DePaul act so differently. One faction (conference) has reached out to our family in love, compassion, and assisted and coached us through some magnificent steps of re-entry into societal productivity and success. The other faction has acted in extreme bad faith, without any structure for addressing their actions, all the while threatening to evict or “punish” us.
The next day, I heard Nick tell me to tell my children to stop using the printer paper for drawing on it. Drawing, and using artistic fine motor skills is a part of their schooling and educational growth, so I went and bought a $3.59 ream of paper for my children. This appeared to aggravate Nick, and I heard him mention that it aggravated him.
The next day, I got to meet Al. Al is the “Vice President” at the St. Anthony’s homeless shelter, and used to run the shelter. I saw Al approach me and say “My name is Al. We need to talk to you.” I went in the office again, and was treated to another grilling session. This timeI heard Kathy say “I’m recording this.” (I’d bet the recording is toast at this time, because it was so embarrassing what was revealed. The papers she had in her hand, with her notes on them went in the shredder immediately after this meeting, which I observed. I see this as an obvious attempt to cover up her embarrassment at my treatment due to her misunderstanding of the facts.)
Kathy proceeded to say that she received a phone call. Allegedly I called Dennis and said that she and Nick had threatened me. She wanted to know how they had threatened me.
I just listened to her rant for a bit, and part of her rant was pointing out that the rules say that a resident can be evicted at any time without a reason. (I obviously needed to have fear invoked upon me before we started these proceedings.)
I asked if I was going to be evicted, and I heard her respond that it was a good possibility.
I then proceeded to explain that I had told Dennis that I “felt threatened” and this was based on Kathy thrusting her finger in my face angrily, and the meeting that followed. Kathy, while she had acknowledged her finger thrusting incident in the earlier private meeting with Nick and I, now denied doing this (presumedly because it was being recorded), and at the same time apologized for this type of behavior, denouncing it as aggressive.
Kathy had thought I called Dennis and said I felt threatened after we had wiped the slate clean. I heard her say something to the effect of feeling betrayed. I explained that when I had left the room in an excited state (before our attempted clean slate procession) was when I had made the calls, and NOT after we had wiped the slate clean.
I told her that the minute we decided to clean slate the process and start over, I called my contact at St Vincent DePaul, and told them to call Dennis immediately and call any further action off. (Because I didn’t want this to escalate any further.)
What really angered Kathy and Al was that I had gone outside of their “conference” to handle this. But the matter remains to this day, that THE ST. ANTHONY’S Homeless HOMELESS SHELTER CONFERENCE is IMPOTENT when it comes to handling their own issues professionally and with courtesy and/or compassion. Issues that are not resolved, in ANY organization, REMAIN active issues. Period.
Making a long story short, it appeared to me that they realized that they had been pissed over a timing misunderstanding, and they had egg on their face now, because on THEIR recording, I let out that she had acted aggressively against me for my having called Dennis. I heard her deny it to hell and back on the tape, and yet STILL apologize (“If I did do that”) and denounced such behavior as aggressive. (It is dangerous when someone can deny something that they factually did, and at the same time apologize for the behavior and denounce it as aggressive. Don’t take my word for it. The definition of schizophrenia is “a mentality or approach characterized by inconsistent or contradictory elements.” Why would someone apologize if there was no guilt?
They let us stay. But this was not the end of the authority trip.
Next, my children came down with flu-like symptoms. Part of this can be attributed to the homeless shelter keeping it about 75-78 degrees all the time. It is an oven, and very dehydrating. Asking Nick about an adjustment in temperature gained an observed response of shrugging shoulders and a scowling “that’s they way they have it set.”
So, Kathy had told us initially that if our children were sick, they weren’t going to throw us out during the day. So, on Monday, November 12, I told them that 5 of us had the flu. Me, my wife, and three of our five children all displayed flu-like symptoms. Even though I was sick, I had to leave to get chicken broth, and wellness foods for us.
During this time my wife observed Kathy approach the room and ask who was sick. According to my wife, Kathy acted with disdain and anger. If we had taken our children out in the cold, on foot, and walked around as we would have been required, they would have only become more ill. Kathy then created a new rule, and posted the following on our door. I kept the copy posted on the outside of our door, as it appeared to be an intended communication to us directly.
“Nov 12, 2012
If your child is ill, one parent may stay in with the sick child. If there is more than one child, the other parent must leave between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. with the other children.
Those staying in the shelter must stay in their rooms, except for using the restroom or fixing lunch.
Under no circumstances, will those staying in with an illness be allowed to go out to smoke or to wander around the shelter.
After the second day of an illness, a doctor’s written excuse is needed. You may use the Emergency Room or your regular doctor.
Notice that there is no offer to help us see a doctor, nor is there any concern about our health or wellbeing. My wife said that Kathy came out and said that she (my wife) needed to keep our two year old quiet, because there was “business going on.” (He cried out three times for his mommy, who was trying to fix food for the children in the kitchen.) So, my wife took our youngest to the room as directed, and left about 6-7 items in the sink, as a result. After I came back from Trader Joe’s with food, My wife observed Nick thrust his finger in her face, and proceed to tell her to wash the dishes. I had already washed the dishes in question before this happened, and this was the point that I determined that I was willing to react in a physically protective way if necessary to keep Nick and Kathy from aggressing against us again in a demeaning manner. I didn’t care what happened at this point, because there is a breaking point for everyone, and I had just reached mine.
November 13, 2012
After staying up nearly all night with two children vomiting, and one of them soiling their panties with diarrhea, I went to Nick and told him we would be staying the second day, and told him I was sick also. I then left for Trader Joe’s market to get food for the family and water. When I returned, I went to the front office to talk to Al about the issues at hand. I had heard Al tell me (During the meeting that was recorded with Kathy and Nick) that I could come talk to him any time, and yet, he never showed in the front office after they called him and announced me. (They asked for my name first)
When I entered the shelter and Nick scolded me for not letting him know that I went out. (I didn’t expect him to offer to help me get food for the family, but scolding was uncalled for.) I came back up to ask for detergent from Nick because we had sheets and clothes with feces on them from the accidents. I saw that Al was in the office, and I heard him talking to Nick saying that the front office had told him I was waiting on him (“The tall guy”). Al, while not having the will to talk to me when I approached his domain at the front office of St. Vincent DePaul, had plenty of will to show up when Nick was around. With Al watching silently, I observed Nick look at me with a scowl on his face and said “There’s no laundry after 8.” I was ready to engage Nick at this point, damn the consequences. I returned Nick’s scowl and said, “Oh yeah? Well we have sheets and clothes with poop and vomit on them.” Nick replied, “Glad to hear it.” I repeated this to him in a question. “Glad to hear it?!?! Where’s the compassion?” I heard Nick say “Where IS the compassion? We have rules here!” I said “Rules?!?! Do you want me to beat my child and tell them not to poop in their panties or vomit on the sheets?!?!” And I walked away angrily.
Rules that keep seven people bound up in a room with feces smeared panties and vomit soaked sheets, is just absurd.
And Al stood there and said nothing. Al proved to be neither a mediator, nor involved in helping resolve the matter.
Let me be clear. I feel that Nick is a bully, and I’ve observed Kathy and Al endorse his actions fully, and I’ve observed that Dennis Mihocko is unconcerned about abuses at the St. Anthony’s Homeless Shelter. This is but one horror story. We witnessed Nick treating several women like scum, and they are powerless to stand against it, because they need a place to be off of this street. I need to repeat that these are often women who are exiting domestic abuse situations, and it is my opinion that allowing these same women meet more abuse with the actions of Nick and Kathy is just egregious and detestable, if not an extreme civil liability. Turning a blind eye to it is JUST as shameful.
[Additional Note] I remember one day during the first part of our stay, I was in the kitchen when Nick walked in and I heard him say “It looks good in here. It looks like white people cleaned up in here.” Myself and one other lady were in the kitchen. Neither of us addressed this remark or responded, but it shocked me to hear this obvious expression of racism.
One night, a single mom who was staying at the homeless shelter with her 5 year old son had signed up to clean the dining room. She fell asleep, and I decided to do the dining room for her. Nick wouldn’t abide this act of charity on my part. He woke up the single mom, shamed her, and made her clean the bathroom as punishment. We can confirm this. This woman had just exited a horrible domestic situation, and here it was being confirmed upon her again that she is worthless and a man was telling her this in his manner of actions and speaking.
St. Anthony’s homeless shelter is definitely a business. Just a business. It is my plea that Nick, Kathy Morgan, and those who support them need to be held accountable and/or removed from any position there. They are volunteers, so surely they can be “un” volunteered?
My final thought is that St. Anthony’s homeless shelter is laid out as a wonderful campus of a shelter. The dorms, bathrooms, dining area are exemplary. Even the location is a prime location. With loving leadership, this place could be the refuge it should be. It could be a place of hope, encouragement, and direction. With the current leadership, however, and I mean Kathy Morgan, Nick, and Al, and even the observation and silence of Dennis Mihocko, there is a conflict rich, bullying, and degrading environment that thrives.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN MISTREATED AT THE HANDS OF THE ST. ANTHONY’S HOMELESS SHELTER, AND YOU HAVE BEEN AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT IT, THIS IS SUCH A TIME TO EXPOSE THIS AGENCY IN THE LIGHT OF TRUTH. PLEASE CONTACT ME AT
absentcapacity (at) yahoo.com
If you want to express your feelings about the contents of this article, please do so to BOTH of the following numbers:
Kathy Morgan 541-779-6055
Dennis Mihocko 541-531-3832
All images used under FAIR USE.